The Three Things You Need to Survive, Adapt, and Persevere

Danny Crum Jr., Psychologist

During this time or any time of potential stress and anxiety, you need three things to survive, adapt and persevere:

[1] Mindfulness: Focus on the here and now, paying attention to your immediate environment and condition. Are you safe? Are you healthy? Are you able to meet your life’s essential needs? For example, are you breathing, eating, urinating, defecating, and sleeping? Nothing else is life-essential. Even human contact is extra. You can survive with adapted styles of contact (e.g., virtual) and some people can survive without any contact. BUT ‘worrying’ about what you can’t control is not going to help you. To that point of control, if it helps then control the little things in your current daily life that you can control (e.g., control what activities you do, control how much exercise you do). But be flexible! Don’t try to bring the rules of ole’ that have governed our life previously or to date into ‘the here and now’ as this is uncharted territory. Besides trying to recreate the past is no better than fretting about an unknown future, both violate the idea of mindfulness which is …say it with me…..FOCUS ON THE HERE AND NOW.

[2] Support NetworkTypically, this is thought of as the people who support you, the people with whom you share your feelings and thoughts. Some of those people who support you are the “agreeables” (i.e., the ones who agree with everything you say or think…they’re great for the ego and self-esteem but not practically beneficial…. pleeeeease…you ain’t that perfect,). Some of those people who support you are the “dissenters” (i.e., the ones who argue or contradict or correct everything you say….they’re frustrating but for some reason we keep them around…..WHY???!!!….probably cause you know you’re not always right….deep down you know this). And some of those people who support you are the “realists” (i.e., they have true empathy for you, hell they may even have sympathy for you BUT they will also be the most honest or “real” with you). The realists give you feedback based on how well they know you in the face of the evidence you refuse to face. These are the people we’re probably the hardest on because these are the people we blame when they say things we don’t want to hear even though we know it’s true and these are the people we transfer/DUMP all our worst on because we subconsciously feel secure that they will always be there for us even when we push them away.  BUT support network can also include a place and an activity. If you can’t be where you want to be and do what you want to do, then ADAPT and find value in where you’re at and invest in doing some secondary-level stuff that you enjoy. Don’t be such a diva and always demand top-shelf….you ain’t all that.

[3] Goals: ‘Future-Pacing’ or goal setting is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to compel one to keep moving forward. I think Brad Pitt said it best in Z when he said ‘Moving is living’ or something like that. He’s just so damn pretty, I can’t be sure what he said. It’s okay to make goals for “when this is over” BUT make action steps to get there (i.e., smaller goals you need to accomplish in order to accomplish the larger goal). For example, to survive this, WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS AND STAY HOME. Also, remember to make some goals for the here and now. You must survive the day to day in order to survive for the future. Make some individual goals and if you’re “holed up” with others then make some collective goals. It will be important to remember psychological and emotional spacing (i.e., give each other time to self) will be just as important as social distancing. No goal is trivial, just so long as it does not intend harm to self or others. Remember the basic tenet of ‘intend no harm’. This is the time to broaden who you are, to find new skills, to find new interests, to give yourself some well-deserved reprieve.

You can visit my professional page here.

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on whatsapp
Share on telegram
Share on email

Share this event with your professional network

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on whatsapp
Share on pinterest
Share on email
Share on linkedin

Share your story

Share how you feel this holiday season. It can ease the sense of loneliness for you – and others.

Upload your photo*
Maximum file size: 80 MB